This cake is my crowning glory. mithingthepoint​ originally made this back in the days of yore as a FFXII dessert for Balthier, and it pretty much had me from the initial list of ingredients. I’ve made it three times in my life, and none of them has been perfect, but this is pretty damn close. Time one, I didn’t have a springform and I’m 99% sure I screwed up the second layer pretty badly. Time two, I had the springform, but opened it too early, and it got all over everything.

And now, time 3. I got pretty much everything right this time around, except for the second layer – that still ended up a bit on the liquid side, likely because I didn’t beat the merengue/whipped cream bit of it for long enough.  The result is still amazing.  

This will take you several days to make. This has been sitting in my fridge for about a week now due to needing to pick up extra whipping cream and Kahlua for the final stage.  It is worth every minute you put into it.

Kahlua Mousse Cake
Lasts 2 weeks worth of desserts

Ingredients

Cake

  • 1.5 c flour
  • 1 c white sugar
  • .25 c special dark cocoa powder
  • pinch salt
  • 1 c hot brewed coffee (I used a leftover Pumpkin Spice Via I had from last year’s batch, this year’s is shit)
  • 1/3 c hot melted butter
  • 1 T vanilla extract
  • 1 egg
  • liberal amounts of Kahlua

Mousse Layer

  • 16 oz white baking chocolate
  • 1 stick unsalted butter
  • pinch salt
  • 2 t vanilla extract
  • 8 eggs, separated into yolks and whites
  • 4 T white sugar
  • 1.5 c heavy whipping cream

Kahlua Whipped Cream

  • 2 c heavy whipping cream
  • .75 c powdered sugar
  • .5 t vanilla extract
  • 2 T Kahlua

Kahlua Glaze

  • 1.5 c powdered sugar
  • 6 T Kahlua

Preheat your oven to 350. If your springform pan is not nonstick, grease and flour it, or put parchment paper in.  In a large bowl, mix together all your dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa powder, salt), and form a small well in the middle. Add the hot brewed coffee directly in the center of the well, followed by the melted butter, vanilla extract, and egg, like so:

image

 Mix together, and pour into your springform.  Bake for 30 to 45 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.

Then, take your Kahlua, and pour it all over the cake. Trust me. Just do it.  The amount in picture two was about a quarter of a 750 ml bottle.  Chill for at minimum an hour in the fridge.  Longer is better here.

To make the mousse layer, melt together your stick of butter and your white chocolate over medium heat.  (I started with the butter, and added the chocolate in small chunks, and that was honestly the best way to get it to the lovely smoothness in picture 3.)  Then stir in the salt and vanilla, and whisk in the egg yolks (see picture 4 for what that looks like), and remove from heat. In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until foamy (see picture five), and slowly add the sugar in, beating until you get stiff peaks and the sugar is disolved, giving you a nice merengue.  I probably didn’t do the eggs long enough here to get that.  Fold into the white chocolate mixture.  Then beat your heavy whipping cream until thick and firm, and then fold that into the mixture as well.  

Pour the resulting confection over the soaked cake, and let it sit for one to two days. Mine sat for about five. 

On the day you’re ready to serve the cake, make the Kahlua whipped cream and the glaze.  For the whipped cream, work with all ingredients except the sugar cold, and start by using an electric mixer to beat the cream.  Slowly add the sugar, followed by the vanilla, and finally the Kahlua, and beat until thick (see pictures 7 and 8 for what that should look like).  If you properly did the confection layer, you will be able to safely open the springform and pour the whipped cream over the cake. If not, no worries, you can still pour the whipped cream on top of the cake in the springform and it’ll still work well.

For the glaze, work with the Kahlua cold, and mix it together with the powdered sugar (see picture 9).  Pipe it over the edges of the cake and/or in an abstract fashion. If you’re like me and using this as an exercise in spite baking, you might, say write this:

image

Before glazing it over to be a bit more socially acceptable (see final picture).

Either way? Enjoy your ridiculously boozy decadent ass cake.  You deserve it. Yes, you.

Creme brulee.  One of the classic desserts to make, and always fun to see if you can make at home. This was my first try ever doing so, and honestly, I’d say these turned out really damn good. Creme brulee is awesome by itself, but add in a good swig of Kahlua, and it only gets even better. 

Don’t have a kitchen torch? Don’t trust your broiler to properly caramelize the crust? No problem!  Use the spoon method (which I will detail below!)

White Russian Creme Brulee
Makes 4 ramekins (mine were larger so it was 3)

Ingredients

  • 1.25 c heavy whipping cream
  • 1/3 c whole milk
  • 1 t vanilla extract (or vanilla pod if you have it on hand)
  • 4 egg yolks
  • .25 c sugar
  • 1 T Kahlua (I used a bit more than this)

Preheat your oven to 325. Take your whipping cream, milk, and vanilla, and heat in a pan over medium low heat, whisking constantly. When the milk starts to steam and bubble, remove it from heat and cover it, letting it cool. 

Using an electric mixer, beat together your egg yolks and sugar until they’re well blended and light in color.  Slowly add the cooled scalded cream into the mixture, followed by the Kahlua. Once it’s well blended, strain it through a strainer. 

Fill your ramekins with the mixture, and put them in a cake pan. Boil a pot of water, and add it to the pan, so that it comes up to halfway up the dishes. Bake for 25 minutes – you’ll know when the custards are set by shaking them – if they jiggle, they’re done.  Place them in the refrigerator for a minimum of a day. 

Once you’re ready to serve them, bring them out of the fridge and bring to room temperature (usually takes about 20 minutes). Sprinkle 1-2 t of sugar on top.  Don’t have a torch?  This is where your stove comes in. Take a metal spoon, turn a flame on your gas stove to high, and heat the spoon over the flame for about 1 to 2 minutes. (Not pictured is the pot holder I had wrapped around the spoon so I didn’t burn myself.)  Take your heated spoon, and press down on the sugar for about 30 seconds so that you hear a sizzle, and maybe see a bit of smoke. 

And then behold, your awesome boozy creme brulee!

This. Is. Amazing. Brie on it’s own is always fantastic baked. Kahlua and brown sugar is a fantastic combination. Put these two together, and I’m pretty sure I transcended the mortal plane. You want to get someone in bed? This is your dish to make.

Kahlua Brown Sugar Baked Brie
Lasts 4 lunches as a dessert

Ingredients

  • 1 wheel brie (recipe suggested 19 oz, pretty sure this was closer to 8, I used President Brie, use whatever you can find close to home that you like)
  • 1 c Kahlua
  • 1 c dark brown sugar

Preheat your oven to 350. Slice the rind off the top of the brie wheel almost completely, but leave it just barely attached (see pic 1 for best approximation) of this. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the cheese is nice and melty. Remove from the oven, and pull off the rind. 

While your cheese is baking, mix together your Kahlua and brown sugar in a small pot and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for ten to fifteen minutes (ideally timed to the cheese being in the oven), until you’ve got a nice, thick syrup.

Pour the Kahlua syrup over the melted brie, and then enjoy the mouthgasm. 

I made these… significantly earlier than I would care to admit, but things have been busy enough around here with the holidays and such that I haven’t gotten to posting these just yet.

I made these alcoholic cookie balls for the bosses this year (with a few leftover for me), and they also kind of served as tryouts for a good base ball recipe. This was definitely one of the more interesting ones, but not the one I’ll be ultimately using.  Very good recipe, though. And around this time of year, I’m all for alcoholic cookie balls.

This recipe isn’t quite perfect, as I ended up having to do some guessing on whether or not I had the right chocolate (long story short there was chocolate in my pantry but I didn’t know what kind it was as it had been taken out of the packaging and scattered all over the pantry), or enough of it. These ended up being a bit more moist following the base recipe, and I ended up adding powdered sugar to compensate. Not sure how much the Kahlua came through on this, but still a no bake, relative stress relieving assembly process.

Kahlua Balls
Makes appx 20 balls

  • 3 c crushed graham cracker crumbs (comes out to about two and a half of the small packages of graham crackers you find in a box)
  • .75 c powdered sugar
  • .25 c dark cocoa powder
  • 1.5 c semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
  • 1 t vanilla extract
  • 3 T corn syrup
  • .33 c Kahlua
  • 3 T brewed coffee
  • .5 c white sugar, for rolling

First, crush your graham crackers. If you have a food processor, you can do it that way. Alternatively, do what I did – take a large bag, add a package at a time, and beat it with a rolling pin until you have relatively uniform, fine crumbs. Trust me, it’s a pretty fantastic feeling. To chop your chocolate, use a large knife (such as the one in picture two above), and use it on the squares to kind of shave the chocolate off the squares, to a fine enough point that it will blend in the batter well eventually. 

Take your chocolate, cocoa powder, powdered sugar, and graham cracker crumbs, and whisk them together until you have a relatively uniform mix. Add in the vanilla, Kahlua, corn syrup, and coffee, and stir with a rubber spatula until the dough just barely comes together.  If it ends up too moist, add more powdered sugar to firm. 

Take chunks of dough and roll them into 1" balls. Put them on a separate plate to rest while you roll them all out. Once rolled, put them in the white sugar, toss to coat, and then place in a container. Put them in the fridge to chill – two to three days to develop the flavor is best.  And then, when you decide to eat them (and it will be sooner rather than later), bring them up to room temp, and enjoy!

I made this as a reward for getting through a damn long week, and let me tell you – it was absolutely worth it.  The coffee was probably not the best in the world, as I do not have a dedicated coffee maker at home (I only usually get lattes out in the wild, and any use of coffee is either in making Kahlua, Bailey’s, or as a part of ice cream).  I also didn’t use espresso, as I didn’t have it on me, but would probably change things a bit again. 

However, I did have Ben and Jerry’s Bonaroo Buzz, good local coffee (Steep and Brew’s Highlander Grog), and pumpkin spice Kahlua (yes it is a thing and it is amaaaaazing). This would probably work if you needed to add a bit of milk to it too for your own personal tastes. 

Either way, good drink. Good way to end a week.

Kahlua Crunch Affogato
Makes 1

Ingredients

  • 1 large scoop Ben and Jerry’s Bonaroo Buzz (or similar coffee/alcohol crunch flavored ice cream of choice)
  • 4 oz fresh brewed coffee (or espresso, or latte, really, whatever works best for your tastes)
  • 3 oz Kahlua (I used the pumpkin spice version I was able to find, best decision ever)
  • 1.5 oz vodka

Scoop your ice cream into a bowl, pour the coffee over it, and then add your Kahlua and vodka. And then enjoy your caffieney alcoholic ice creamy goodness. Maybe while attempting not to set things on fire.

This was the recipe I used to break in my fancy new gas oven, and man, I cannot describe how fucking perfect it is (both the recipe and the stovetop, lol). Farmers market cherries, a sweet vanilla chilled cream, and a wonderful syrup of Kahlua, red wine, and sugar makes this all incredibly decadent. Be warned, though, this is incredibly alcoholic; you’re cooking the pint of cherries in an equal amount of Kahlua, red wine, and sugars. The end resulting cherries are some of the sexiest things I’ve ever had, though.  Like, if you’re looking for a way to get someone in bed, make these. 

The sweet cream recipe is originally from the Feast of Ice and Fire cookbook; however, with help from my baby sister, I did make some alteration to the directions, as my first attempt got me a severely overcooked custard rather than a smooth pourable cream. The second version is still a bit on the overly thick/cooked side, but it’s a lot closer to what it should be. It’ll take you multiple times to get it right; don’t be afraid if you fuck it up the first few times. 

You could also probably safely double the recipe for the sweet cream and the amount of cherries used.

Kahlua Cherries and Sweet Cream
Lasts 3 to 4 lunches as a dessert

Ingredients

  • 1 pint fresh sweet cherries, pitted (see cherry almond dutch baby recipe for pitting tips)
  • 1 c Kahlua
  • .5 c red wine (I used Cupcake Winery’s Red Velvet)
  • .5 c dark brown sugar
  • .5 c sugar

Sweet Cream

  • 1 c heavy whipping cream
  • .5 c sugar, divided
  • 5 egg yolks
  • vanilla extract to taste

Bring the Kahlua, red wine, brown and white sugar to a boil over medium high heat, and then reduce to a simmer for three minutes. Then, add your pitted cherries and simmer for an additional ten minutes, stirring here and there.

To make your sweet cream, take your heavy whipping cream and half of your sugar, and bring to a light simmer.  While you bring it to a simmer, whisk together your egg yolk, the rest of your sugar, and however much vanilla extract you want. Once the sugar cream mixture is simmering, remove it from the heat and slowly drizzle it into the egg yolk vanilla mixture, whisking constantly to blend. 

Now, you can do this one of two ways: cook it in the pot over medium heat, while stirring constantly in figure 8s in all directions.  This is the method I used (thanks to some pointers from my baby sister, and some trial and error) both times, and it will usually thicken to the point of coating the back of the spoon within five minutes using the direct heat method; anything longer and it will overcook. Look at the difference between pictures 5 and 6 for a good example of what it’ll look like once done. The original also recommends putting it in a double boiler or putting an ovenproof glass bowl over a pot of simmering water; I haven’t tried it this way, but it will likely take closer to 8 to 10 minutes that way.

Once both are done, chill separately in the fridge, and then combine, and enjoy the alcoholic decadence.